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KIDS IN CHURCH Submitted by
Shari Crook Lewis
3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen."
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A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin,
the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us from E-mail..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old
brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
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A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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Why Men Wear Earrings Submitted by Joy Cearley
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
I always wondered how this trend got started......
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Subject: God vs Science Submitted by Joy Cearley
God vs. Science.......
Short and to the point!
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to
Him,"Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has
finally figured out a way to create life out of
nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did
in the 'beginning'."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.
"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and
form it into the likeness of You and breathe life
into it, thus creating man. "
"Well, that's interesting . show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts
to mold the soil.
"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God,
( I love this! )
"Get your own dirt."
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Heart Throb
A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England
town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning,
the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike,
she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She
hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to
the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.
There was only one other patron in the store: Paul Newman, sitting at
the counter having a doughnut and coffee.
The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those
famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star-struck
woman smiled demurely.
Pull yourself together, she chides herself! You're a happily married
woman with three children; you're forty-five years old, not a teenager!
The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream
cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then when she went out the
door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.
When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change -
but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in
the store?
Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the
clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. But no ice cream
cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.
His face broke into his familiar warm, friendly grin and he said to the
woman, "You put it in your purse"
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In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out."
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| Submitted by Joy Cearley The first one is the B1 Bomber,
Breaking the Sound Barrier
Absolutely wonderful pictures!!!!.
These are actual photos of aircraft breaking the sound barrier.
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This phenomenon only happens at the instant an
Aircraft breaks the sound barrier
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And it literally appears like the aircraft goes through a wall.
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I hope you find these pictures as fascinating as I do.
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I hope you find these pictures as fascinating as I do.
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| Nothing replaces having a friend. Submitted by Joy Cearley |
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Life is Short, Have a Great Day.
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM submitted by Joy Cearley and Karen Farwell
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood."
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
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EHS Class of 61 
